Something To Get Off My Chest

Less than 10% of South Africans regard English as their 1st language. Specifically, 8.2% of the South African population are "native" English speakers. 91.8% have English as a second language. Yet, S Korea thinks them emminently more suitable to teach English to their populous than any other African country. Why is that I wonder? Could it be pertain to the fact majority of the 8.2% are not South Africans of African descent?

Happy Birthday, 비

Today is Rain's b'day, so a quickie note note to send birthday wishes. I also needed an excuse to post gratuitous pics. Oh well. Happy 26th 비!

Pic courtesy of Hancinema

*Tear*

I realise I'm getting older 'cos the average age the entertainment industry has started being younger than I am. Everyone is permanently 18 to 24 while I certainly am not. Bummer.

Of Two Minds

I am into my third Haruki Murakami book, and though I have not read enough of his works to truly give an informed opinion (and even if I had, I would not have the analytic wherewithal to do so), of the three that I have read there seems to be a commonality between them all; two worlds. The two spheres of existence that feed upon each other. The protagonist's real world is a fractured, painful, imperfect one, and the escape into his alternate and ultimately more fruitful one is fraught with battles both with the self and others. That is not to say that the alternate is perfect, it just seems to hold more answers to the more pressing questions, and permits behaviour and ideals that reality places restraints on.

I find his books a consuming read because he truly mystifies me as to when and how the worlds are intertwined and I have no choice but to finish. His books are surprisingly easy to read even though they are dense, multi layered and at times metaphysical I cannot help but to continue reading, and the pay off is always as good as promised. I think it is the scifi, curious nature in me that likes his books. His insight into human motivations and riddles are full of "light bulb!" moments that never fail to make me want to pick up another book, a pen, music and delve deeper. Into what? Of that, I am not sure.

Pipe Full of Dreams

Probably the man with the longest reach in the Korean music industry JYP (Park Jin-Young's initials in the English-friendly name order), a.k.a Rain/Bi's former producer, is certainly a force to be reckoned with. After conquering the Korean market he helped bring forth the Hallyu wave to the rest of Asia by engineering the rise of one of the biggest stars there is over there; Bi/Rain. There are other groups that he has produced as well, but since I really do not give a could care less, they shall not be mentioned.

Rain and himself parted company last year, due to creative differences. Ever since then I have gotten repeated whiffs of someone trying to be younger than he really is. Especially when he dances. Justin Timberlake and Usher certainly don't move anything like Chris Brown and Omarion. Why? With age comes the realisation that sexy does not necessarily mean flashy. In trying to go up against his younger, hotter, better looking, if slightly (read: a heckuva lot) dumber ex-protege he has gone through all manner of age-defying processes all of which has done nothing but earn him the moniker "gorilla".

Rumours of plastic surgery, extreme weight loss and dodgy taste in clothing aside, JYP is still a good producer. Good as in not revolutionary, as in a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. He's good enough to have worked with some of the bigger names in the American music industry, but on a personal note, it tends to be the music I skip, because everyone else produces music in a similar manner in the R&B/hip hop field nowadays, less than memorable album filler that masquerades as a mjor release (don't worry I won't start that again). On the other hand I have liked the production on Rain/Bi's albums including my current favourite "With U".

Which brings me to the ultimate reason for this post: his latest bid to take over the world (i.e. the American music market) involves five gamine girls aged 15 to 19 called the Wondergirls. Winsome and pretty with voices that can barely hold a tune (think Cassie), I shocked the living daylights out of myself by actually liking their new single "I'm So Hot". Light, frothy and which as much depth as a hair on a mosquito's behind, it is the type of song that could have been a summer hit in the US. Enjoy!

Out Of Korea, AFRIKA?

What do you get when you mix gambling cops, bumbling gangsters, guns, and four girls on the run? The result is a Set It Off-lite movie A.F.R.I.K.A (2006), which varies from lightly amusing comedy to boring, pseudo-moralistic tripe about the power of friendship.
Two college girls off to the beach stumble upon a supposed toy gun in the back seat of the car. Unbeknownst to them, the vehicle has been stolen and the guns are real, having being lost in a game by the aforementioned cop and gangsters.
By some inane and downright unbelievable plot devices, the girls pick up a waitress/hostage/hooker/getaway driver and a "mysterious" girl and make their way to Seoul, robbing people who--by movie standards I guess--supposedly deserve it, all for personal gain. Cue montage of girls getting their hair "did", buying expensive phones and living in luxurious hotels. In an incredulously short amount of time the girls bond and become fast friends, but not before they end up pointing the guns at each other once or twice for some drama and garnering a fan club A.F.R.I.K.A (Adoring Four Revolutionary Idols Korea Association. Does that even make sense?) for which they are named. They apparently love the derrings-do of the girls, enough to grant them cult status.
What is sadly lacking is actual character development, or anything that allows us a real connection with the ragtag theiving crew. All the circumstances created to promote pathos for anyone (all seeming to revolve around men doing a female wrong) sadly falls flat and really seems almost petulantly childish. The anticlimatic finale is the icing on this very, very disappointing cake, making this a miss in my book.

1 out of 5 for being made.

And I So Should Not Have Wasted Bandwith

Pygmalion and its retelling as the classic movie My Fair Lady (1956) is a perennial favorite with movie makers. A makeover story with a dab of fiery, combative romance and a surefire ending guaranteed to please the sensibilities of any dewy-eyed lover of love, it seems fairly straightforward that at least some passable fare could be created, but no. I guess Ovid never counted the ineptitude of the director of My Dream Girl to screw up something so simple, so royally.

The director had all the ingredients; beautiful people, montage of fun makeover scenes, the cheating girlfriend of the lead dude. It all comes across however as flat, humorless and seemingly without a single thread of thought to keep the movie flowing seamlessly between the scenes. Instead, scenes vary from incredibly rushed to absolutely pointless and a blooming waste of film.

Crappy, disappointing and my now hard drive a much poorer piece of a equipment for it, my ratio sacrificed.

0.5 out of 5. That's only because...forget it 0 out of 5 for ruining my day

Go Rain Go!

Speed Racer finally premiered on May 9th 2008 after much anticipation, drooling and chomping at the bit. The Wachowski brothers' live-action adaptation of a much beloved children's anime from Japan which I'm sure they still show in Nigeria. Heaven knows the programming doesn't change much. Anyhoo, one of the biggest Korean megastars--actor, singer, dancer and all around hottie-McHot-hot Bi/Rain (real name Jung Ji Hoon)-- made his first appearance in a Hollywood production as Taejo Togokhan a Japanese racer with an axe to grind with bad guy Royalton. I must say, he acquitted himself nicely. He gave a solid performance, and even though I don't quite understand why the Taejo ends up cheering wildly in the end, I think he did a credible job. His "anglais" needs much work for his next feature Ninja Assassin (again them Wachowski boys)but time and editing might help sort that out.

A couple of things to note:

After watching this movie, you will end up colourblind. The at times stunning, other times miasmic, colour palette will end up painfully and permanently soldered to your retinas rendering you incapable of anything other than black/white differentiation.

I caught Bi dancing during his fight scenes. Oh dear. Let's hope that no-one else noticed.

The producers/directors decided to add hints of Bi's Korean heritage by having his character's first name as Taejo, meaning "great ancestor" (according to wikipedia). Then they decided to have a Japanese company use Korean script to write stuff on their banners, banking on the fact that most audiences won't be able to differentiate between Japanese and Korean. Oh for shame. Or I may be casting aspersions as to their motivation for doing something so daft. Not cool.

Even though this isn't quite a review, I will give it a 3 out of 5 + 0.5 for having Bi in it

What Can't She Do?

The female half of the-group-that-can-do-no-wrong--at least in my eyes--Horan from Clazziquai created the band Ibadi (이바디) as an accoustic side project while Alex does his reality TV stint. Now, while I like a little Nora Jones and music of her ilk, I don't usually listen to Jazz music. With Ibadi though I was absolutely rooted to the spot by the first track 오후가 흐르는 숲 (oh-hoo-ga heu-reu-neun soop) and is currently one of my top 3 favorite tracks of the moment. Her rich, hypnotic voice almost immediately makes you feel you should be having a romcom moment: strolling arm in arm with some gorgeous guy with the song playing in the background.

The other tracks are just as great, with a liberal sprinkling of whimsy and almost an air of distraction about it. This is an absolute gem of an album great for easy listening on those long haul driving trips. It only suffers slightly from drag in the middle where it seems they spent a little too much time with their hanky in hand.



Here Horan sings one of the greatest pop songs evah from the 90's. Not part of the album but hey, still good!

5 out 5 This is great music!

Bits and Pieces of Epik High Goodness

I love me some Epik High and they, in their infinite wisdom decided to grace us denizens of the real world with a new album Pieces, Part One. With their usual blend of k pop and hip-hop-with-a-twist, Pieces is a solid addition to the Epik High anthology, if not a particularly revolutionary one.

There is some good stuff on there, particularly their lead single One, with its Ace of Base sound-alike tune which immediately takes me back to the 1990's electronic dance music hey days. The remix further reinforces the fact. It's awesome!



Then there's The Future which is a track aimed at other Korean artists, a call to arms so to speak, telling them they need to get over themselves and focus on the music instead of aiming idiotic "diss" tracks at other more successful artists. The gritty, hard, almost gangsta vibe is so unlike the more recent poetic Epik, I was taken aback by its ferocity. And loved it. Lest we forget, Epik High is fronted by a Stanford graduate and a poet, so gangsta seems absolutely antithetical to their background, which is a baseless idea, really, as their earliest albums will attest to.

The one disturbing thing however was that it sounded too much like the 50 Cent/Justin Timberlake/Timbaland Ayo Technology track, which to be truthful is rather annoying. Epik High is musical ambrosia precisely because they sound like no one else. Still a fantastic song.

The main issues with this album is that it doesn't seem to be as big a paradigm shift as Remapping The Human Soul was from their previous works. The tracks hearken back to their album Swan Songs with the more American sound, but still has enough of their poetic nature somewhat intact so as not to totally disappoint. This is an album not quite sure where it wants to be and there is hope that Part Two gives it a firm push and places them in the musical sphere they want to occupy.


4.25 Out of 5 0.25 Deducted for the AYO remix. Oh for shame!